Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Life On The Farm 010212: If you can't read this, you're too close

We took a few weeks off from cheesemaking for the holidays, so I’ve been reading a great deal (cookbooks for Christmas – so loving it).

After a few days, the pages became unfocused and blurry  – so much so that I couldn’t continue indulging in my passion.

It wasn’t because I was stroking out – though for a while there I wasn’t completely certain that was the case.

I suspect that I may need reading glasses.

Fifteen years ago, I underwent laser eye surgery and it worked spectacularly.  No more glasses, no more contact lenses, bionic vision in the right eye.  Worth every penny spent. 

But recently, the following has occurred:

1)   I used the wrong credit card for a transaction.  Both our business and personal Visa’s are gunmetal grey.  That I was not surprised when I discovered charges for Christmas gifts on the wrong statement was disturbing on it’s own.

2)   I added sugar instead of salt to a soup.  Both are contained in generic stainless containers labeled in my own sketchy handwriting. As I attempted to adjust the seasoning to complete the recipe, I wondered why the soup never seemed to get any saltier.  Then, I became concerned that I was using so much “salt” that it was probably bad for my blood pressure to keep taste testing.  Threw it out.  Re-labeled the containers.

3)   I charged the wrong amount to a wholesale client.  But really QuickBooks people, the standard font for invoices is too small in the first place, and if there’s a way to make the forms on the screen larger and not just longer, I’d appreciate someone sending along those instructions to  Thanks.

4)   I recently purchased an expensive new-fangled phone, but can’t read the descriptions under the icons that make it do cool stuff - beyond operating like a regular phone. I mean, the picture looks like a phone, so it must be the phone button.  I could have gotten a no-frills device for free, if all I wanted to do was to make calls and not have random people envy my bling.  

Weeks after the first blurry sentences were reluctantly acknowledged, and now I can’t read the home phone’s digital directory.  This made me resolve to finally do something about this, because I’m too old to go back to memorizing all those phone numbers.

Isn’t holding an object with writing in 6-point type at arm’s length in order to read it a superpower?  I think so.

In any event, I requested a pair of 1.5x reading glasses from Santa-Sis, and am now sporting purple frames and able to peruse ingredient lists and allergen alerts up close in the grocery store aisles once again.

I’m not ready to get a full-on prescription, because if I give the reading a rest for a few days, everything goes back to normal.  

So, I can still put this all down to fatigue and not advancing age, while rocking it like a sassy librarian.

In my mind.

Which is the only place where it really counts.