Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Life On The Farm 062011: Dan Gets Run Over By A Green Car

As you can see, Dan is just fine.

One of the television comedies that my husband Dan and I try to watch is “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. 

I say we “try” because it is in its seventh season and we only found it funny for the first two, but we always hope for the best.

My point being, episodes are named thusly:

“The Gang Gets Stranded In The Woods”

“Dennis And Dee Get A New Dad”

“Charlie Gets Crippled”

And in that vein, (and especially if you are familiar with the series) I’m titling this parallel episode of our lives:

“Dan Gets Run Over By A Green Car” 

It was just after 2:00 p.m. on Saturday and farmer’s market had come to a close.  We had packed up our goods, tent and signs in the truck. Before leaving to go home, we made a pit-stop across the road at American Flatbread (bless, them, they don’t mind, and the park doesn’t have any facilities).

I’ll admit it; we were jaywalking.  And that has been such a problem for such a long time that the City is in the midst of tearing up the sidewalks to make a special crosswalk just for Flatbread customers.

That being said, and the stage being laid, we stood admiringly on our side of the road and marveled at the first Green Car we had ever seen driving south on St. Paul – it made so little sound that I felt as though I’d suddenly lost my hearing.

(I'm not using the cab company's actual name, as I am sick to death of being hounded by cyber geeks on payroll with huge chips on their shoulders.)

It parked in front of Flatbread, and we scooted behind it and the next car to get to the opposite sidewalk. 

Upon exiting the restaurant we prepared to go back the way we came.

Dan grabbed me as I stepped into the road, stopping both of us between the same two parked cars.

Not that I was ever in any real danger, because I saw that black SUV coming, but he can be grabby on his woman that way.

I turned to give him a cold stare and said, “Dan! Dan!” 

He ignored me - and was hit on the right side by the Green Car, which was backing up as we stood there.


“Hey! Hey!”

The driver didn’t acknowledge us, and drove off.

Here’s my synopsis.

a)   Dan wasn’t hurt, so good on that.

b)   Regarding the cab, my truck has a proximity alarm when backing up, so why isn’t that a standard safety device?

c)   Why isn’t there an exterior beep-alarm as there is on construction equipment - because the likelihood of smacking into someone who has their back turned or is standing around gomming off is equally as likely.

For a state-of-the-art environmentally friendly stealth vehicle of the future, it’s sincerely lacking in the safety department.  Huge disappointment here as to how my Federal Green Research Dollars are being spent.

I wish that the camera I keep with me always had actually been in my pocket, because I’d have liked to report the driver to Green Car mission control. 

Bad driver!  Bad, bad driver!