Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Life On The Farm 050712: Eat More Kale


I recently went to the doctor’s office for a checkup.  The verdict was: eat more kale. 

I kid you not.

I must have been looking wan and K-vitamin deficient that morning, but there you have it. 

Basically, the conversation went:

‘What kind of vegetables do you eat?’

‘All of them’.

‘You should eat more kale, or chard.’

‘Oh, Christ, no, anything but that!’

Hardy stemmy things are a fat girl’s Green Kryptonite.

(I made a mental note to eat more plain steamed broccoli and far less creamy, delicious homemade mac n’ cheese prior to my next visit.)

Despite my initial reluctance – and as is always the case with wellness recommendations - I resolved to do whatever possible to continue living in my relaxing state of blissful, clueless functionality.

I went to the supermarket and bought a bundle of curly kale - the most massively portioned amount of edible leaves that I had ever seen for so little money. 

Salmon and Kale
I can only surmise that the value pricing is due to the fact no one really wants to eat anything that looks like high-summer backyard ornamentals.

I should have used the drive home to dream up new, creative ways to cook it, but the one thing that kept running through my mind was:

I wonder whatever happened to that Eat More Kale guy?

In case you aren’t familiar with his legal conflict, Vermonter Bo Muller-Moore got into trouble when he tried to trademark his original pro-farmer phrase “Eat More Kale”. 

Massive corporate entity Chick-fil-A cracked down hard, and ordered him to destroy all his merchandise, pull down his website, cease, desist, and so on - purporting that his slogan was too similar to their intellectual property (or whatever it is called), “Eat Mor Chikin”.

For Vermonters like me, this doesn’t make one lick of sense.

The difference between animals and vegetables doesn’t count for nothing these days, and all those years spended sweat’n during spell’n’ beez, secretlee hopen the bel wood ring for reeses wuz a compleet waist of tyme that coulda ben spent doo in les nerv wrak’n p’soots…like learning to spin a skillful turn of the English phrase and conveying depths of meaning…instead of inviting passerby to stare at the seemingly random letters on your chest, wondering what the hell all the misspelled words are about.
Kale and Sausage Soup
For me, it’s all about the kale, and isn’t about kale; EMK is about supporting local farmers.

(Smiley Face)

I felt a pang of social responsibility (that rarely ever happens).

I’d hope that if the same shit lawsuit rained down on me, Bo’d buy one of my t-shirts and help a girl out. 

So today, I ordered an Eat More Kale hoodie in support of his defense fund, and perused the kale recipes available at eatmorekale.com.

After all, a farmer can’t ever have too many hoodies - and forgive me for saying so– but I’ve eaten kale, and there may actually be such a thing as eating too much of it.