(Allow me to introduce the oldest of the old scales, Scale #1)
There are two non-ingredient items that I cannot do without when making cheese on the farm: a walkie-talkie and a 200-gram scale.
When either doesn't work properly, I have a conniption fit meriting an intervention - an anxiety attack - and a minor panic.
"Think, think, think" says Winnie-the-Pooh (yes, he's inside my head, along with Mr. Krabs, and a few others on the virtual bus who are actually real people – including my husband Dan, who is always yelling, “Would you please calm the @%&* down!”).
It was Dan, who first imagined using walkies to communicate back and forth from parlor to plant. I use most of the morning milking (from our 140 dairy cows) one day a week to make one batch of cheese; but I don’t use it all, so I have to alert him to stop sending it through the line before too much arrives for the recipe that I am using.
(Over 20 batteries at the cheeseplant, at the moment)
While serious two-way disasters are remedied by buying another pair of handsets, the most common problems are resolved by remembering to change the batteries. I keep a box of 20 AAAs on hand at all times. Redundancy comforts me.
While serious two-way disasters are remedied by buying another pair of handsets, the most common problems are resolved by remembering to change the batteries. I keep a box of 20 AAAs on hand at all times. Redundancy comforts me.
(The shipping scale for weighing UPS boxes)
During such crises, waving frantically to Dan through the window is also effective (only in summer). Going 50 pounds over the expected amount of milk affects the make in subtle ways, more than that affects the finished product.
During such crises, waving frantically to Dan through the window is also effective (only in summer). Going 50 pounds over the expected amount of milk affects the make in subtle ways, more than that affects the finished product.
(The cheese and chicken scales)
Scale malfunction is quite another thing.
Evereadys solve garden-variety scale problems, too - but knocking the wee pricy thing onto a concrete floor is a sure-fire way to ruin a batch of cheese. When the digital scale continues to say “E”, no matter which buttons you push or how hard you shake it, things are not going to go well.
My most recent early-morning catastrophe? Milk is filling the tank at 5:00 a.m. and there is suddenly no way to measure the cultures that turn it into cheese, while the window to add at them at the proper time for correct acidification ticks down.
There has to be a way.
(The salty salt scale)
My first thought was to grab the closest of the seven scales I own: the "salt" scale. (Just like battery hoarding, I have a lot of measuring equipment – and you should see how many calculators I keep on hand – then, you’d really think I had a problem.)
My first thought was to grab the closest of the seven scales I own: the "salt" scale. (Just like battery hoarding, I have a lot of measuring equipment – and you should see how many calculators I keep on hand – then, you’d really think I had a problem.)
No good!
The scale won't register anything under 10 grams. (Shake fist at ceiling) I need to weigh feather-light freeze-dried thingies.
(Scale #2, the wet-cheese weighing scale)
I went to the house and found that one of the three scales there measured a minimum of 5 grams - but failed to register less than 5-gram increments thereafter. Whatever! I can deal with eyeballing the difference.
I went to the house and found that one of the three scales there measured a minimum of 5 grams - but failed to register less than 5-gram increments thereafter. Whatever! I can deal with eyeballing the difference.
Did that batch of cheese turn out well? I'll know the answer in 60 days when the wheels are mature and ready for sale.
I’ve bought a new scale (via overnight air), and am considering purchasing scale #8 to keep on hand, just in case.
In the meantime, it might help to seek a therapist.
