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| As you can see, Dan is just fine. |
One of the television comedies that my husband Dan and I try
to watch is “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”.
I say we “try” because it is in its seventh season and we
only found it funny for the first two, but we always hope for the best.
My point being, episodes are named thusly:
“The Gang Gets Stranded In The Woods”
“Dennis And Dee Get A New Dad”
“Charlie Gets Crippled”
And in that vein, (and especially if you are familiar with
the series) I’m titling this parallel episode of our lives:
“Dan Gets Run Over By A Green Car”
It was just after 2:00 p.m. on Saturday and farmer’s market had
come to a close. We had packed up our
goods, tent and signs in the truck. Before leaving to go home, we made a
pit-stop across the road at American Flatbread (bless, them, they don’t mind,
and the park doesn’t have any facilities).
I’ll admit it; we were jaywalking. And that has been such a problem for such a
long time that the City is in the midst of tearing up the sidewalks to make a
special crosswalk just for Flatbread customers.
That being said, and the stage being laid, we stood admiringly
on our side of the road and marveled at the first Green Car we had ever seen
driving south on St. Paul – it made so little sound that I felt as though I’d
suddenly lost my hearing.
It parked in front of Flatbread, and we scooted behind it
and the next car to get to the opposite sidewalk.
Upon exiting the restaurant we prepared to go back the way
we came.
Dan grabbed me as I stepped into the road, stopping both of
us between the same two parked cars.
Not that I was ever in any real danger, because I saw that black
SUV coming, but he can be grabby on his woman that way.
I turned to give him a cold stare and said, “Dan! Dan!”
He ignored me - and was hit on the right side by the Green Car,
which was backing up as we stood there.
Wtf?
“Hey! Hey!”
The driver didn’t acknowledge us, and drove off.
Here’s my synopsis.
a)
Dan wasn’t hurt, so good on that.
b)
Regarding the cab, my truck has a proximity
alarm when backing up, so why isn’t that a standard safety device?
c)
Why isn’t there an exterior beep-alarm as there
is on construction equipment - because the likelihood of smacking into someone who
has their back turned or is standing around gomming off is equally as likely.
For a state-of-the-art environmentally
friendly stealth vehicle of the future, it’s sincerely lacking in the safety
department. Huge disappointment here as
to how my Federal Green Research Dollars are being spent.
I wish that the camera I keep with
me always had actually been in my pocket, because I’d have liked to report the driver
to Green Car mission control.
Bad driver! Bad, bad driver!
